“In this house, we pray,” she said to the Grand Ole Opry audience. “Lord: lift us all up like the doves who surround You.” The backing band kept a steady cut-time riff and she continued, the bass and fiddle framing the entire hymn. “Let us fly and develop the talons and beaks to serve in Your Army of Truth. Let us fly faster than the fabled Concorde of yore to deliver Your Message. And most of all–“
The band paused long enough for the entire audience to whoop: “We must conquer the green-eyed monster who haunts our Godly Nation!” Everyone in the Opry cheered as they spent the rest of the episode throwing tomatoes at an effigy that shared my mustache.
Keegan Shepherd 